Caring so big….

My Post (7)

The statement, “It’s during the worst storms of your life that you will get to see the true colors of the people who say they care for you” is so overly used yet continues to anchor so many who are like a deer caught in a headlight when their comforters are suddenly missing, inaccessible, on the next boat out….or, worse yet, become judgmental and attacking.   The truth of the statement is worthy of serious contemplation….
When we are amidst a real storm in our life there are, of course, those who could care less and do not want to be bothered or cannot be bothered even though they want to because they may fall off a cliff, or perhaps your cliff themselves if they get too close.   And there are, importantly, those who care but have yet to know how to care so big that they can actually walk with you.
Of course, real storms heave up raw, unconscious material that needs to be made conscious.  Let’s be real, shall we.  Most of our lives are engaged in distractions from real introspection and few people titrate this experiencing in a conscious way through engaging a contemplative practice to support revelations. Many pray, read scripture, sing, and dance…..without full engagement in body, mind, and soul…not knowing they are still unprepared for a real storm. It is not unlike the many  artists, musicians, dancers, martial artists, athletes who can perform, revealing pure Grace in their work…..but are painfully and pathologically compartmentalized….intellectualized without knowing it.  The pace of our society, our addictive need to consume versus truly digest, the values of perfection or being God, the values of being in control or being God, and the defense mechanisms of fight, flight, freeze and intellectualization play a big role in creating life devoid of contemplation….or should I say the walking dead.  Yes, these factors make it harder to engage contemplative practice AND even more important to attain.
When we are amidst the storm of our life our own raw nature appears…. and can be scary not only for us but for those who do not have the detachment necessary to feel safe, not personalize, or feel clear in how to be helpful. Relationships are complex, messy, painful, joyful, …. and, often, fragile.
When we are amidst the storms of our life we need people grounded in their Soul, in a contemplative practice…….so that we have any hope of becoming cognizant of our projections, in particular the unrealistic ideals we have unconsciously placed on those around us to somehow be a savior, a rescuer where we need One…to fill in those parts that only God can.  When we cast the role of God to someone, anyone…another storm begins.
What would happen if we care so big about ourselves that we build a contemplative practice?

Author: Kairos Spiritual Direction and Life Coaching

Rachel Magnell, Ph.D. is studied in Counseling Psychology, Neuroscience, Jungian Depth Psychology, Hypnosis, Yoga Philosophy and Meditation.

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