Musings

“Artists Marina Mabramovic and Ulay started an intense love affair in the 1970’s, performing out of a van they called home.  When they ended their relationship, they decided to walk the Great Wall of China, each from one end, meeting for one last embrace in the middle….That was the last time they saw eachother……In 2010, as part of her MoMa retrospective, ‘The Artist is Present,’ Marina shared a minute of silence with each stranger who sat in front of her.  On opening night, Ulay arrived without Marina knowing…..”   (http://smarturl.it/Adonis_EP)

Feminine consciousness

is the transformative energy

that can contain the energies of matter

and, through the fire of love,

connect them to the energies of the soul.

– Marion Woodman

I dream I am

walking in darkness.

I come upon

a volcano, round and black.

I am not sure it is dead

or what I might stir up

if I jump in.

The mud is heavy, foul.

Then comes a voice,

more plea than command,

Throw  yourself into the abyss.

I walk to the brink.

All around, the voices echo,

Trust.

I jump.

As I fall I see, at the bottom of the abyss,

two golden S’s,

Spiritus Sanctus,

float and unite to make infinity.

I land in its center

and infinity stands on end.

Its crown bursts into flame and carries me

to the top of darkness.

– Marion Woodman

When we are aware that we are broken we are hard pressed to imagine we have any volition where dark hopelessness has occupied itself in our hearts.  Rather, we are inclined toward moving away from, hiding, or fixing our brokenness with the validations and resources of our habits and our social systems.  This poem invites the reader to see the broken parts as doorways to transformation, healing that is long overdue but has been evaded by cover ups, successful social adaptation, or efforts to move away from knowing.  Knowing what?  Until one has experienced the grace of healing that occurs in active surrender to one’s higher power, action takes the path toward building and managing illusions and pain.  Such action is circular and futile, generating nothing new.  Beginning to heal refers to the path of coming alive, perhaps for the first time.

– Rachel Magnell

If we can hold the conflict of the opposites –
what we want and what destiny has ordained –
if we can hold while mind thinks and heart feels
we can learn to think with the heart.

Prior to holding the conflict of the opposites simultaneously, at once, we alternate between knowing each side, flipping our attention back and forth…..sometimes rapidly, sometimes very very slowly with years in between.   As we alternate, we eliminate the other pole.  When we arrive in the middle, we hold both…..together……and a door opens.   When this door opens it changes us…..somehow.  We can spend the rest of our lives learning how to cross the threshold where we are changed…forever.

– Rachel Magnell

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope,
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing;
wait, without love,
For love would be love for the wrong thing;

TS Elliot captures, in this poem, the challenge of arriving into Kairos.   Who are we without hope, without love, without faith, without thought?………That is a profound question which few can really sit in.  Or, better yet, where are we when we actually arrive, if only for a moment, in that place where the stillness is dancing and darkness is light?

What few realize is that our identities, what we believe to be our selves,  are a compilation of stories, weaving together the core components of our humanity….that is hope, love, faith, thought…but also desire, instinct, anger, sadness, joy, fear…..into a coherent, seamless blanket.   These stories are necessary and ensure stability and equilibrium in place and time as we face the demands of our dynamic world.  Our stories are reflected all around us in the things we do, the items we purchase, the spatial qualities of our home, the clothing we wear, how we use our time, who we spend our time with, who we love, who loves us…. We are all, at some level, always actively driven to protect, explore, validate, or grow our identities.

It is important to have mirrors around us that help us remember that our stories are not our Selves.  They are our selves but not our Selves.  Seeking beyond the small self happens when we are touched by the seeds of affliction.  It may be helpful to understand affliction and its’ twin, disillusionment, as gateways to the Self, where stillness is dancing and darkness is light.  Fear in its’ myriad of forms inevitably arises, luring one into moving away from this unfamiliar darkness, away from the threat of  being swallowed whole or falling into an empty meaningless abyss where there is seemingly no protection, no control, no life.  The irony is, all of life is held there.   This is why we need a practice to guide us on that journey, a practice that expands our story to enable us to discover and hold the pearls of wisdom awaiting us in the darkness.

Elliot lures us to wait for the “faith and the love and the hope” that “are all in the waiting” so that the wisdom that lies within may rise and be heard, distinguished from thought….for we are not ready for thought.

-Rachel Magnell

The ground of realization prepares itself slowly.
You are so close to what you are involved in that you literally cannot see it.

Irony continues so long as you do not see.
Then, when you suddenly do, you see through the whole sequence at once. You realize how the consequences have been building the whole time, unknown to you. Such recognition breaks your blindness; it also shows you clearly your own part in the story and your responsibility for what happened. It reveals that you have been obscurely complicit in your own downfall. Irony is the shy sister of such recognition.

The foundation for everlasting change is spiritual preparation. Kairos-centered coaching invites women from all backgrounds and faiths into a safe contemplative space that provides them with an opportunity to observe and listen for sacred moments, Kairos moments, in their lives. Listening for Kairos moments is perhaps the biggest stumbling block that prevents people from finding their authentic centers and building purpose driven lives. Why? Two main reasons. First, our minds and bodies are over-aligned with chronos time, minutes and seconds, as we attempt to meet myriad demands. Second, we have limited knowledge of and experience with kairos time, sacred or indefinite time wherein all our potentialities lie.

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